Screw it...though that's not what I actually said.
Why now?
One, I turned fifty-five, two I spent COVID reassessing my life, my choices, and my approach to how I dealt with my fair share of the pain, heartache, and badness that life threw at me.
I no longer wanted to live as the victim in my own story. I no longer wanted to say why me, and I no longer wanted events in my life that were beyond my control, to control me.
I finally said screw it... but not really that.
It was the best thing I ever said for myself, to myself, to the universe.
Believe it or not, it made all the difference in the world. I'm no longer allowing myself to roll around in my head with my negative self-talk and I'm no longer allowing another person to take up space in there either. Because I will no longer let anyone dictate how I live my life based on their actions.
Saying it has been the most freeing thought I've ever had. While I don't expect that the rest of my life will be devoid of bad things that keep me up at night, I do expect that I will say screw it. I will scream out to the universe and I won't let it paralyze me or control me.
Days are long, years are short, and life is short, make the most of it. Recently I've paid attention to the people who are living their best lives. I wish I learned this years ago. But you can't go back, you can only go forward. So here I go.